It’s no surprise that a Personality Disorder this pathological originates from childhood trauma . Narcissism is the ultimate in human disconnect . It is a reaction seeking personality disorder like no other. What is it really , that creates such lack of empathy among adults ? What is the perfect recipe for raising a Narcissistic child into adulthood? What was lacking during their development?
The abuse resulting in trauma , happens in infancy, childhood, and early adolescence. There is usually a split between one caregiver, who is cold, removed, abusive, and often purposefully neglectful. The other side of the coin? One who is overly indulgent ,enabling, sugar-y sweet, convincing the child they can do no wrong. It is out of this dichotomy that Narcissism is created. From an early age , the child learns that the only way to negotiate this split, and to suppress the neglect , and other forms of abuse they endure, is to create a “false self”.
In childhood , its normal to day dream. What deviates from the norm, is a disproportionate amount of time spent in this activity , which only gains momentum, and creates fantasy, which then fuels the “false self”. The “false self”, becomes the stage on which the Narcissist develops his or her personality, because it was probably the only aspect of life in which the child felt important, valued, and visible . It certainly wasn’t in whatever chaos that was taking place inside the place they called home .
They quickly adapt, and bury anything real into the shadows of a version of themselves that they create, which is immune to rejection, loneliness, and hurt. They purposely form emotional calluses as a response to hardships and traumas they faced in childhood . This serves later in adulthood, to calcify their heart , and fortifies the “false self” , almost like an eternal hardening of the heart.
They grow up, using this “false self”, as a means of emotion regulation , and transform into something that is invulnerable, impenetrable, and omnipotent . They also use this same “false self” to regulate his or her sense of self worth by extracting from the environment narcissistic supply , which is any form of attention, positive , or negative.
